Monday, January 9, 2012

Not so Easy!

Losing weight is one of hardest things to do and maintain! Food addiction is one of the worst things you could have! If you're addicted to crack, you stop using it! If you have a smoking problem, you stop smoking.... but its not like that with food! You can't just stop eating. You need food to live!

But what happens when you're addicted to something you can never get away from... and that something is bad for you? Why can't I be addicted to raw vegetables?!? Don't get me wrong, I like vegetables, but on most days, I'd much rather have a cheeseburger or a piece of cake!

A friend of mine asked me how someone could lose a bunch of weight and look amazing, yet still end up gaining a bunch of the weight back! For a girl who has never been overweight, nor will ever have to worry about what she eats, it was hard for her to fathom how this could happen. Unfortunately, I know all too well how this can occur! For some people, food is just nutrition. For others, food is a comfort and a habit.

You always hear the term "emotional eater"... but what does that really mean? For me, its a comfort. When there's a situation I can't emotionally handle, when I feel rejected and empty, when I'm super stressed out about a decision or just life in general... I turn to food! And its never carrots, its usually terrible food, like pizza, fast food, or any kind of sweet! Food doesn't change. Food doesn't get mad at you or ignore you. Food doesn't judge you. Food is always there.

How does someone lose a ton of weight and then gain some/a lot/all of it back?!? Life gets in the way, you lose focus, you just want to be normal! I wish I was like some of my friends that never have to worry about how many calories they eat or how many hours they spend at the gym. But that's not me... that will never be me!

Its been hard to come to that realization... to say that this has to be my "new normal"! I fully regret the past 8 months! I have done nothing but sabotage my weight loss journey. I let my emotional ups and downs outweigh my goals and dreams. At times, I lost all track of the path I was on. My motivation was at an all time low. I started resenting the one thing that gave me hope and support, the gym. No matter how hard you work, nothing can overcome a poor diet.

Thank God for a new start. 2012 is my year; The year I keep control. No more of that "All or nothing" attitude. No major set backs over small slip ups! No more excuses! Its time for me to make major strides in this journey! I'm not saying it's going to be easy, I'm saying it's going to be worth it!